Abundance

A while ago, I met this woman who won a contest. She was the millionth caller to some telephone service. She mentioned the fact that she has purposefully added the word "million" to her vernacular. She did little things each day like saying, "thanks a million" instead of just, "thanks". This woman believed that by bringing a word or idea into your life, it would in some way make itself comfortable there. She ran her own business, so I'm sure she was hoping that the million she encountered would be in dollars, not telephone calls, but nonetheless, here theory got me thinking.

So yesterday, I read this article: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/21/o.when.to.say.enough/index.html
It's all about how believing that abundance is all around you, actually makes abundance all around you. I've taken her assignment seriously and spent the day naming things that are abundant around me. So far, I have:

• Sunshine
• Love
• Candy
• Air
• Music

The other part of this woman's theory, is that by changing your attitude from "Just in Case" to "Just in Time", things will start to fall into place. Issues that you may have struggled with your whole life, will slowly just disappear. I guess it is the belief that the universe is on your side, and will give you everything you need. It says that hoarding things, thinking you may one day need them, just bogs you down. And, being the child of someone that saves everything, that is a theory that I can get on board with. So, I'd like to officially welcome abundances, of all kinds, into my life. I will try to never take you for granted, nor hold your presence so dear that you run away screaming.

We Are The People in Your Neigbhorhood

Like many gen-Xer's, part of the memory space in my brain is devoted to 1980's television. I was thinking about a neighborhood association meeting that I'm attending (and dreading) tonight and I was reminded of a song from Sesame Street. It went something like this: "We are the people in your neighborhood. We're the people that you meet when you're walking down the street. We're the people that you meet each day". You have to sing it in a very upbeat way, like a puppet character would, to get the gist. Now, I can't get it out of my head. It's like a soundtrack to the day.
TV shows from the 70's and 80's are utopiac in that they portray this perfect place where everyone, of every size and shade live together in harmony. Everyone has a purpose. You fight crime, or run the neighborhood shop. I don't know about you, but I'm rarely walking down my street, and even when I am, I rarely run into anyone I know. On the rare occasion where I see someone I know (at the huge grocery store chain, not the neighborhood bodega), my first inclination is to hide or pretend like I don't see them. It's not like everyone, or anyone out there has much reason to dislike me, but for some reason, I just don't like running into people without warning. I feel like I need time to rehearse these types of encounters. TV didn't prepare me for feelings that can't be easily expressed in a word or facial expression. It did not prepare me for social anxiety or a general sense of being annoyed by those around me.

I think I can attribute my lingering sense of discontent to the fact that my real life has never really measured up to what TV promised it would. I'm not one of Charlie's Angels. I don't live in a neighborhood full of muppets. I'm not even a neurotic New Yorker finding humor in the misadventures of my friends. When I was in fifth grade. I just knew that someone was making a TV show about me, without my knowledge. I had myself convinced that all my friends were hired actors, and that there were cameras all around me. It made me a little paranoid I think. So if I'm not on TV, and I don't even like idea of people seeing me without my knowledge, why do my thoughts always find their way back to things I saw on vintage TV?

And that's one to grow on...

I'm Back!

Dually inspired by my dear friend 32 Entropy Lane, and David Sedaris, I'm getting back together with my blog.

Two years ago, my blog and I broke up. We didn't have a fight or anything, I just got kind of tired him. And by "him", I mean myself. I got tired of writing about myself. It started to become a job. It was just another responsibility, another being to be nursed and coddled. And, lord knows I have enough of those (Hi kids!). But my BFF's move to blogspot, and David Sedaris' hilarious book When You are Engulfed in Flames have sent me crawling back to my former love. My adoration for the art of words has been reignited.

The other day that movie "American Beauty" was on cable. I just caught the part where the teenage boy says "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." That is how I've been feeling lately. Not like everything is perfect, but that there is beauty in the mundane, and sometimes even in the gross. Today I was on the bus and this man, who I presume to be homeless, got on. I smelled the urine before I saw him. He sat right across from me. I shoved by coffee cup against my nose to block the smell. I looked down as to not engage him with eye contact. And what do I see? I pair of shiny, glittery, silver sneakers. Bless his heart, he was rockin' it the best way he knew how. Happiness is everywhere, you just have to look for it, even if it means holding your nose.